Diversity Diva

Diversity Diva Newsletter #2 via #constantcontact

2010-09-10T20:21:00.001-05:00

Diversity Diva Newsletter via #constantcontact

Diversity Diva Newsletter # 1 via #constantcontact

2010-09-10T20:17:00.001-05:00

Diversity Diva Newsletter via #constantcontact

Separating work and home

2009-12-28T15:30:00.000-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: I work at a company where managers are expected to host little holiday parties at their home for the people they manage. Because of the neighborhood I live in, I just don’t feel comfortable having folks from work over. How do I get out of this and keep my boss from holding it against me? — Humble About My Home

Dear Humble: This time of the year can be a stressful time, not just because of family expectations but because of the expectations at work with the pseudo-family dynamic some workplaces can engender.

At work, where people all show up at the same place, it’s easy to forget that people come from different backgrounds and transport themselves from different neighborhoods. While people should never be ashamed of where they are from or where they live now, it’s not an unreasonable concern to wonder how your co-workers and supervisors will judge you outside of the workplace knowing how judgmental people can be inside the workplace.

To stay in your boss’s good graces, explain to him or her that personal family issues (keeping it vague) make it inconvenient to host work parties at home but that you would be more than happy to help arrange for an off-site lunch or happy hour or some other entertainment function.

Emphasize your desire to reward and bond with your team and ask your boss to help you brainstorm some creative ways to do that in a way that won’t negatively impact your family.

Let heritage be self-defined

2009-12-14T15:28:00.001-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: At lunch, several of us were talking about the Tiger Woods affair and we kind of got into a debate about the right way to refer to someone who is more than one race. What is the right way? — Mixed Up About Mixed Races

Dear Mixed Up: It’s understandable why you would be confused. Most of us are blends of ethnic heritages. Some are just more obvious blends than others.

I had this very conversation with a co-worker who once asked why most famous people who have a black parent and a white parent identify themselves as black rather than biracial. I pointed out that people tend to self-identify by what the world repeatedly identifies them as. For example, can you imagine if actress Halle Berry or recording artist Alicia Keys or President Barack Obama identified themselves as white?

Tiger Woods tried to get around this when he first gained notoriety by referring to himself as Cablinasian. That not only made him the butt of jokes, ridicule and even some hostility, but it didn’t keep every media outlet and most people from generally referring to Woods as black.

In a nutshell, the correct answer is that a person of diverse heritage is to be called by whatever he or she chooses to be called — whether it’s mixed, biracial or just picking one race, even if you suspect from physical observation that person has a parent who is of a different race.

The reason you allow people to choose their own self-identification is because individuals have reasons they refer to themselves the way they do. For example, if an adult was raised by just one parent, the adult may identify with just the race of the person who raised him or her. On the other hand, someone who was happily raised by parents from two (or more) racial backgrounds may prefer the term “biracial” because it honors the heritages of both backgrounds.

In the workplace, however, unless someone chooses to tell you all this, it’s a highly personal matter that co-workers don’t need to know in respecting and honoring that person’s preferences. Though if your co-worker invents a cumbersome name such as Cablinasian, you may be allowed to ask that person for his or her second choice.

Add war to the list of taboo topics at work

2009-11-30T15:26:00.000-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: I’m in the military reserves, something everybody at my job knows because of the changes to my work schedule from time to time. One of my supervisors makes anti-war comments all the time that really bother me. How should I handle this? Signed, Worked-Up Weekend Soldier

Dear Worked-Up: Sex, money and religion have always been topics best not to discuss in inappropriate places. Add the U.S. involvement in military action to that list.

Increasingly, everyone knows a loved one or an acquaintance going overseas to serve. People also have strong opinions about issues involving safety and, yes, money. And war and military action, for some, is nothing more than a topic reduced to budgetary considerations of taxpayer money.

If the supervisor has done something that makes you feel that he or she is discriminating against you on the basis of your military service — for example, doesn’t allow your seniority to accrue when you are away for training or makes you use your earned vacation for your time away for reservist duty — then you should immediately notify your human resources department. That would be a violation of federal law.

If that’s not the case, I would have a friendly talk with the supervisor and make clear that you would appreciate keeping this topic off the discussion track.

As is the case with most strong, casually expressed opinions, the supervisor may not be aware of the impact. But a supervisor should be smart enough to hear you very clearly.

Share health issues

2009-11-09T15:25:00.000-06:00

People with health problems sometimes struggle with how much to share with their employer.

For example, an older woman who works on her feet all day and gets swollen, painful ankles may be afraid to ask her boss for a chair to sit on. And because she can’t afford to take time off, she may not get the doctor’s excuse that might require reasonable accommodation.

It’s a tricky issue of diversity in that she stands out from her younger co-workers who don’t have this problem. But an employee can’t afford to be more concerned about an employer’s reaction than his or her own health or potential disability.

Once a doctor has given a recommendation, then sitting down with the boss to come up with a job adjustment may be in order.

Extra work bugs employee

2009-10-19T15:20:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: I work in a department where a lot of people are taking time off from work because of kids sick with the flu. It’s just assumed that I’m going to take up the slack because my husband and I don’t have kids.

Not to be mean, but is there anything I can do? — Bugged by the Flu Bug

Dear Bugged: In a word, no.

You put the emphasis on the fact that your co-workers are missing work because their kids have the flu. But does it really make a difference if it’s because of their kids or their spouses or they themselves are home sick?

Ultimately, your workload will change from time to time because of things beyond the control of your co-workers. Just like circumstances in your life, from vacations to your own illnesses, will add to the workload of your co-workers.

If your work is involving overtime or longer hours, you can say no sometimes. And if it truly is quantifiably excessive, file it away as something to support your next raise or promotion.

Just remember they call it a flu season for a reason. So this too shall pass. In the meantime, remember that taking care of sick children isn’t exactly a trip to Disneyland, especially this year.

Is calling someone the wrong name a big deal?

2009-06-14T20:31:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: The other day I accidentally called a woman in another department by the wrong name and she accused me of thinking that “we all look alike,” since the person I confused her with was of the same race and I’m white. I think that was totally unfair. Everyone mixes people up on occasion, so what’s the big deal? — Tweaking My Twenty-Twenty

Dear Tweaking: Mistakes do happen, and you’re right that in a professional environment people should carefully check how they express frustration.

Most likely your co-worker’s frustration stems from having one of the many again confusing her with one of the few, because I have no doubt this isn’t the first time this has happened to her or to someone she knows. She probably thought that if you can’t keep so few people straight who only share race in common, it’s because you’re either deliberately ignorant or benignly careless.

So if she is already pointedly dealing with being one of a small number, what seems like an innocent mistake to you is a grating misstep to her — and one that minorities generally don’t feel like they have the luxury to make.

Quick rule of thumb: If a person of any race is significant enough to be called by a name at work, make sure it’s the name of the person you’re talking to.

When is it a case of unclear meaning?

2009-05-25T20:26:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: At a meeting, I was trying to make a point about the need for a variety of perspectives when a co-worker jumped down my throat, mistakenly thinking that I was talking about too many “white males” being on the project. The assumption ticked me off. Is that all anyone thinks you mean just because you’re a member of a minority group? — Making Sense of Assumptions

Dear Making Sense: There would have been nothing wrong if in championing different perspectives, you were including racial background. But if that’s not where you were going, it can be annoying to have to address a point you didn’t make.

Your co-worker would have been better served asking what you meant. And you should have asked him why he was reframing what you said into a completely different point.

Usually discussions like that are best held one on one, but in this case clearing it up professionally in front of the original audience would be a good tactic to nip any misconceptions. And it would set the tone for how you expect important diversity issues to be handled in your presence — which is that you don’t want the concerns you bring up to be obscured by presumptions of what people think you mean.

Why does our company celebrate Cinco de Mayo?

2009-05-05T20:23:00.001-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: Not to be funny, but I’m trying to figure out why people in America celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Is it even a holiday that has anything to do with our country? The company I work for has been having Cinco de Mayo activities for a few years. — Figuring Out Festivities

Dear Figuring Out: I think there’s a larger point you’re getting at with your question — which is, why is your company choosing to focus on some ethnic and diversity events and not others? (By the way, Cinco de Mayo celebrates a victory by the Mexican army over the French army in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.)

Corporate America frequently passes homage to all kinds of celebrations, holidays and historical events so as not to be just paying lip service to inclusion. It may look like window dressing or just fun and games, but to those who like a workplace that isn’t completely homogenous, it matters.

Although every ethnic, religious or other diverse group isn’t going to get its own event at work, your company at least wants to look like it recognizes the major ones, and in the case of Cinco de Mayo, it’s partially a nod to a segment of the largest ethnic group in our society.

However, companies would serve their whole work force better if they explained the significance of the celebrations. Even St. Patrick’s Day has a historical context besides just an opportunity to wear green, throw a parade and party.

What if I don't like some of my company's diversity efforts?

2009-03-31T20:19:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: Enough is enough. I work for a big company that likes to brag about its diversity efforts in an annual report. In flipping through it, I noticed that the company gave money to a group that supported the legalization of gay marriage, something completely against my religious beliefs. How is that fair? — Seeking Some Diverse Diversity

Dear Seeking: Your question strikes at the heart of what workplace diversity represents.

For some, it’s about preventing discrimination. For others, it’s about promoting a wide range of thought that comes from a wide range of backgrounds that makes for better business. What you are talking about is a whole lot trickier — diversity as a means to promote an agenda. And inherent in certain agendas is equally fierce opposition.

You didn’t mention it, but maybe your company was covering its bases by supporting gay marriage organizations because it had supported other groups that were at the other extreme of the issue. If so, would you still be upset? For example, if your company donated $500 to the Republicans and $500 to Democrats, would you think that was OK because its equitable or would you be upset that anything was given to the party you can’t stand?

While you always have the right to take offense at something that your company does, if it’s not illegal, it just remains a observation of how your organization’s values compares to your own. Of course, you can react in other ways if you are a shareholder in the company.

If the situation continues to bother you, I would suggest going to the person in charge of diversity at your organization and having this conversation.

Should people be approached directly about an issue involving race or ethnicity?

2009-03-09T16:40:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: Recently a fellow manager and I had a fierce debate. Some documents came into our office that were in Arabic and needed to be translated. The other manager said we should just go directly to the two employees with “Muslim names” and ask them if they would like the translation assignment. I said we should send out an e-mail to see if there were any volunteers to translate. What do you think? — Mulling over Muslim Matters

Dear Mulling: With rare exception, one shouldn’t assume that people ever want to be approached about their race or ethnicity in a work situation if they are not the ones bringing it up. Just because someone has a name of Arab descent, for example, doesn’t mean that they are Muslim or speak Arabic.

More significantly, even if they do speak or read Arabic, it does not necessarily mean that they would feel comfortable sharing that information with an employer. While some may look at speaking a language as a unique asset , an individual with that background may have experienced discomfort — or outright discrimination — because of ethnic background and want to downplay attention.

Your suggestion of sending out a department-wide e-mail would be my preference because it allows people to self-select on what they choose to share with their employers. Also, by allowing people to volunteer, you may give an opportunity to an employee who knows Arabic fluently and has been aching for a chance to use that skill at work.

Last but certainly not least, if you approach the Muslim or Arab employee and that person feels uncomfortable about the request, you can bet a box of staples that if that employee ever files a discrimination complaint on the basis of race, national origin or religion against your employer, that totally innocent request for help will be characterized in a far more sinister light.

Just send out the e-mail. At least one of the employees of Arab descent probably will volunteer, and it also would give you the opportunity to ask if that person would mind being asked again if the situation arises in the future.

Is my boss picking on me for racial reasons?

2009-02-24T16:31:00.000-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: This may not seem like a diversity question, but I just don’t know. My boss is another race than I am, and she’s always sneaking up behind me, looking over my shoulder, to see what’s on my computer screen. In my gut, I think that this boss is picking on me for racial reasons even though I don’t have any problems with the other supervisors and haven’t really had any other problems at work. So am I just being paranoid? — Snippy About Snooping Bosses

Dear Snippy: You’re right to wonder if your issue is a diversity issue. Diversity, generally speaking, is about different perceptions and treatments and the role of differences among groups in the workplace.

Your case doesn’t seem to really be about diversity because you gave no indication about whether this was happening to anyone else.

It sounds like you’re asking a discrimination question disguised as a diversity issue. And this would be something you need to talk over with another supervisor or a human resources person.

Your gut feeling that your boss is “picking” on you because of your race might be entirely accurate and something that your friends and close colleagues might agree with you on when you talk about it on the sly. But it’s just as likely that your boss doesn’t care for you for any number of other reasons and it has nothing to do with race. But constant speculation isn’t going to make your days any easier, especially if this is the only real problem you have at work.

Either way, bosses have the right to see what their employees are up to when they are supposed to be working.

In a truly diverse world, some people who are different than you aren’t going to like you sometimes, and more times than not, there’s not a whole lot you can do about it.

In this case, since you suspect that your boss is creeping up behind you because she has some issue with you, regardless of what the issue is, your best bet is to make sure she only sees work when she looks at your computer screen.

When majority member sits on minority panel

2009-02-03T16:24:00.000-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: I’m a white guy who sits on the diversity committee where I work. Maybe I’m just naive, but my company seems pretty diverse to me, so how do we know when we’ve achieved diversity? — Making Progress

Dear Making Progress: That’s a great question. And depending on whom you ask, you’ll get several different answers.
Ultimately, I think the answer anyone gives will be based on the view from their seat. For example, if you’re a member of a racial minority, you’re going to be painfully aware of how few members of minority racial groups, particularly your own, work with you. On the other hand, if you’re in the majority racial group for your workplace, then you may tend to view the minority employees that you do have as the sign of great strides toward diversity.
Additionally, diversity is about leadership. So, if all your leaders are monopolized by one group, even if the working core is “diverse,” that still may not be much of an achievement.
However, diversity isn’t just about numbers. If it were, then it would be an easy number to achieve — you would get a demographic breakdown of the community you live in and just make sure you had the proportionate number in your organization.
No, diversity also is about treatment of the different groups within an organization. That’s one of the reasons most diversity initiatives in recent years have been renamed “diversity and inclusion.”
While some write that off as just words and another stab at political correctness, words do mean something. Inclusion means that a company or organization aims to make sure the workplace doesn’t leave anyone out.
Therefore, I don’t think that diversity is ever something that an organization achieves. Rather, it’s a mandate to keep fairness and equity as an objective that is a continual process of progress and not just a single, final achievement.

Obama Presidency Means Workplace Diversity is Accomplished! NOT!

2009-01-31T17:05:00.001-06:00

If you click on the link below you will see the column that I wrote to accompany a story on what President Obama means to the issue of diversity in the workplace.

I was unable to copy and paste the article as I usually do for this blog, but I thought I would use this opportunity to add to the millions of people who have applauded the win and inauguration of President Barack Obama.

While I am beyond thrilled as a black woman that President Obama is our leader, what I've been excited about (and occassionally dismayed by) is the rich, hearty dialogue that has taken place in this country about diversity, particularly race.

However, what has often gotten lost in the celebration and glorification of this country's election of an African-American president is that he is one man and one man with a tough job. He made history but he still has a job to do as this country faces challenges that many have not seen in their lifetime.

He's not the black President, he's the American President and his successes and missteps won't be an endorsement or an indictment of his race. Like most, (with the exception of Rush Limbaugh who openly champions the failure of our President), I'm just praying for President Obama to have the wind at his back for his every initiative that uplifts our country and takes it forward. Like Beyonce says in that commercial, I'm ready for an upgrade!

http://www.kansascity.com/770/story/989957.html

Show a little courtesy on the elevator

2009-01-09T08:05:00.003-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: This lady on the elevator where I work chewed me a new one because I turned off the elevator sound when I stepped in. She wasn’t blind and neither was anyone else on the elevator, so what was the big deal?

Signed, Failing To See What the Problem Is

Dear Failing to See: The obvious question is, how do you know she wasn’t seeing impaired or that no one else on the elevator was? Unfortunately, a lot of people are very good at relying on stereotype rather than facts to figure out what’s going on around them. For example, not every blind person or visually impaired person wears Ray Charles sunglasses, walks with a cane or has a seeing eye dog as his or her faithful companion.
In this case, however, it wasn’t a matter of you having to figure anything out. A simple asking out loud before you turned off the sound was all you needed to do. While it may have been an annoying ding to you, it may have been a visually impaired person’s best aid to figuring out what floor to get off on. After all, that’s why the device was put on the elevator in the first place.
However, inherent in your question of asking why someone who isn’t blind might have taken offense is your lack of understanding that not all people are driven by what immediately and personally impacts them. For all you know, this person may have had a blind relative or friend or neighbor, and thus has a heightened sense of concern about that issue.
Or maybe she has no personal motivation and was just irritated by what she thought was an insensitive act on your part just to avoid half a minute’s irritation by an elevator sound.
Sometimes respecting diversity and difference isn’t about you needing to know every little thing about every group, it’s just about exercising some basic thoughtfulness and understanding. In this case, asking a simple question or just sucking it up until you get to your floor.

Who's Calling Names?

2009-01-09T08:02:00.001-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: Some guys I work with call each other by a name that would get me and any other white person fired if we used it. Why is it okay when they call each other that?

Signed, Calling It As I See It

Dear Calling It: This is a complicated social topic that many have strong and divided opinions on, especially in the wake of the Don Imus controversy.
But for the workplace, however, it’s a very simple issue — nobody, regardless of their race, needs to be using certain inflammatory terms to address others or talk about others.
There is probably no employee handbook in America that’s silent on the issue and for those few that are, social mores and general employment law step in to prohibit that kind of interaction.
Your supervisors and other co-workers may be ignoring the issue because the participants are the same race and the racially derogatory term is one that is typically used against that very same group, but that’s wrong.
This kind of behavior starts the slippery slope of creating a hostile work environment, where those very guys may be inviting someone to infer that flinging around that word is all right with them no matter who uses it.
As a solution, you might casually mention to one of the guys in the group or to a mutual co-worker that’s friendly with them that their “term of endearment” is grating on the ear and that they need to stop it.
If that doesn’t work, mention it to your immediate supervisor. But if you go that route, you might want to make sure it’s because you’re truly offended by the language or that you’re concerned that others are or will be. Otherwise, you risk creating the impression that you’re ticked that you don’t get to use the same offensive and racially inflammatory language that your minority co-workers use.
On the other hand, if the heart of your question is why it is that minority group members can address each other in ways that people not in the group can’t, I think the overly simplistic answer is because membership has it privileges. As an American, for example, you can refer to yourself in ways that would be fighting words if someone from another country used it.
That may not be fair or even logical, but it’s a social controversy that will not go away soon. At work, however, it really should be a nonissue.

Help! My employee calls me biased

2009-01-09T07:57:00.002-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: You always write about employees with racist or sexist bosses, but what about us bosses who have an employee who always accuses them of discrimination? In particular, I have a minority female who always accuses me (a white guy) of bias whenever she gets upset with me.

Signed, Trying to Prove a Negative

Dear Trying: As with most situations like this, the devil is in the details.
The most obvious question to ask is, are you biased against the employee? And if so, is it because of her gender or race? It’s an obvious question yet one that most people fail to ask themselves because the knee-jerk reaction to that accusation is to deny it. We like to think of ourselves as fair people and honestly don’t see our internal motivations as being motivated by anything other than pure objectives.
Now I’m not saying that every accusation of bias requires deep, soul-searching analysis, just that the question needs to be asked. And it almost definitely requires asking you the question if you’ve heard this from more than one employee or person. Also, it may be that the employee accurately picks up on the fact that you don’t like her, but she’s mistaken about the reason.
Ultimately, you have to look at how you treat the employee. If you know that you are treating the employee fairly then you can’t allow yourself to be hamstrung every time you do something that she doesn’t like.
As uncomfortable as it will be, you should probably do what you should have done the first or second time she accused you of treating her differently because of her race or gender — report this to the human resources department.
It may seem that I am advising you to go tell on yourself, and for something that you don’t even believe is true. But you can’t take the chance that her perceptions do become fact. In other words, if she calls you racist or sexist long enough — especially if she’s repeating this to co-workers — it may snowball into a widespread reputation that you may find impossible to refute if she or some other employee files a formal complaint.
Your employee may honestly believe you harbor a bias against her. Or she may be failing to do her own internal work to ask herself if she’s confusing bias with supervision. Either way, at this point, you should let someone official help you figure it out.

My boss is a racist. What should I do?

2008-11-25T07:07:00.000-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: My boss is a racist. What should I do?
Dear Diversity Diva: I’m a black woman working for a business that is about to fire me because I don’t get along with my boss, a white woman who I know is racist. I haven’t bothered going to HR because I know they won’t do anything. What do you think I should do? — Rock in a Hard Place
Dear Rock: You’ve got more issues going on than you realize, and it sounds like it’s all about to come to a head.
To begin, how do you know you are about to be fired? For example, if you have been put on probation or given some form of disciplinary warning, your perception that your job is in jeopardy might be quite accurate. However, if you’re just assuming because of the boss tensions, then you may not be at the danger point — just quickly getting there.
Regardless of whether you are guessing or getting direct feedback about the imminent mortality of your job, it is a mistake to keep human resources out of it. From a practical standpoint, you should go to them because you may be getting a lot of things wrong. Maybe your boss is racist. Maybe she’s not. Maybe she’s discriminating against you. Maybe she’s not.
Maybe your job is completely secure but your perceptions and fears are leading you to sit on the railroad tracks ready to be hit by the train. If that’s the case, someone in HR might be able to objectively hear you out and help you fix the situation.
Additionally, from a legal standpoint, if you do get fired and decided to sue on the basis of discrimination, your employer will be able to use the defense that you never complained or gave them the opportunity to resolve discriminatory behavior that may have taken place.
Regardless of what you decide to do, your key objective should be to stop being miserable in a job that is no longer serving you. In these difficult economic times, take the opportunity while you still have a job to find another.

Why can't I call an older co-worker "Grandpa"?

2008-11-20T07:05:00.000-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: In the restaurant where I work, we young people call this older guy we work with “Grandpa.” We don’t mean any harm, but our boss says we need to stop calling him that. If Grandpa doesn’t mind, why do we have to stop? — Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number

Dear Age: I’m sure you and your co-workers mean no disrespect when you call your older comrade Grandpa. It sounds like it may even be a title of affection and admiration.
However, your boss has more to consider than just whether you like calling a co-worker something other than his name or even whether Grandpa minds the nickname.
For one, I get the impression that you’re assuming Grandpa doesn’t mind being called by that name. You may be right. However, I don’t know if your older co-worker is 35 or 75. Because employees over the age of 40 are legally considered to be in a protected class— meaning that they can sue on the basis of age discrimination — your supervisor may be concerned that Grandpa might claim age discrimination someday and cite your playful nickname as part of the complaint.
Also, remember that your boss has to take into account that other older co-workers and customers who overhear in the restaurant may take offense.
Another possibility you may not have considered is that Grandpa really doesn’t like that nickname and he is the one who went to the boss and complained about it. Many times, even the friendliest co-worker feels more comfortable going to the boss on the sly rather than taking complaints directly to the source for fear of confrontation or creating tension. Even the most direct person has been known to take that approach to keep calm waters and to make the boss the heavy.
A lot of times, conflict in the workplace comes from the impressions created by workers who mean no harm. In a case like this, therefore, the best thing to do is just follow your boss’s guidance. Call Grandpa by his given name.

Do I have to keep going to diversity seminars?

2008-10-21T20:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: Why do I have to keep going to diversity seminars at work? We have them every year and I want to know what’s up with that. Isn’t it my bosses that need to be hearing this stuff anyway? — Sick of Seminars

Dear Sick: You have to keep going to diversity seminars for the same reasons you still need to get an annual physical from a doctor even though you had one back when they put Winnie the Pooh Band-Aids on your boo-boos.
Diversity seminars and workshops often trigger eye-rolling and sighs of exasperation because people think they get along just fine with their co-workers and don’t need any extra help.
No doubt, some seminars are better than others. Some can be informative, fun and lively. Others can be simplistic, preachy or just downright boring.
But even the worst diversity session that your employer sends you to has some information or some insight into your co-workers that you need to know about.
If, for example, you see even one co-worker mouthing off about her sexist bosses, or you see your minority or disabled or older co-workers visibly upset when the issue of bias or discrimination comes up, then you are looking at the reason why you’re there.
And the fact that you didn’t cause or aren’t responsible for someone else’s issue doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you, your department or your company.
Employees who have to check some part of their identify at the workplace door probably think there are not enough good diversity workshops taking place.
A lot of distaste that many have for these training sessions stems from the defensiveness these sessions trigger among the people who assume that on some level they or the group they are a member of will be targeted as “the bad guy.”
But if you start being one of those employees who truly aims to learn just one thing every session, you’ll find that going to them seems less tedious. And you may even find it has some positive impact on your work environment.

Should an office gift of condolence be a political donation?

2008-10-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: I work in a small department of a large, private business. A member of our team had a death in his family and the team collected money for flowers, only to find out that the wishes of our co-worker’s loved one was to donate money to one of the presidential campaigns. Our office is divided politically, so I don’t feel comfortable with that. What do you think? — Perplexed by Politics

Dear Perplexed: I understand why you would be uncomfortable. You’re trying to support a co-worker in his time of loss, honor someone’s last wishes and avoid offending co-workers.
Even though you didn’t make that last point in your question, ultimately that’s what your real concern is. If the loved one’s request was a donation to Save the Whales or the American Cancer Society, you probably wouldn’t think twice.
But donating money to a political campaign — especially in a tightly contested, extremely polarized presidential campaign — will almost definitely rub someone in the opposing camp the wrong way.
In working for many government municipalities and some private-sector jobs, collecting for a political campaign, even indirectly, would be strictly forbidden.
In a situation where a small group of personal friends at work want to donate money in this fashion in their off-work time, it’s a different issue because it ceases to be a “workplace” donation. But when the situation really is a work department coming together in this way, it’s not fair to put anyone in the position of later finding out that their generosity was used in a way they didn’t intend.
Probably the best way to address this is to convert the money raised into a money order or cashier’s check in your co-worker’s name and give it to him in a condolence card, leaving him to use his judgment in how the money will be used to honor his loved one.
That way, the people in the department have achieved their real objective of supporting their co-worker, the co-worker is touched by the gesture, and political diversity is respected with no one having to feel offended by having their money directly go to a candidate that they had no intention of supporting.

Take boss' resume screenings to human resources department

2008-09-23T20:45:00.001-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva:
I am a midlevel supervisor who helps select resumes for my boss to interview applicants for upcoming openings. My boss has made very clear that she wants me to weed out applicants with Hispanic-sounding last names. I don’t like doing this but I also don’t want to upset my boss. What should I do?
Signed, Caught in the Middle

Dear Caught:
The obvious and easy answer is to go to the human resources department. That’s the right thing to do.
But there’s probably a couple of other things at play that make the answer less than direct. One is that you like the boss and don’t want to see her get into trouble. You want some free pass that allows you to do the right thing by the applicants while simultaneously protecting your boss and avoiding awkwardness.
Sorry, but that isn’t going to happen. You can continue doing what your boss wants, and no one may ever be the wiser. Or you can continue doing what your boss wants and then you may find yourself sitting across from a lawyer in a deposition for a case brought by a Hispanic applicant who brings a lawsuit. Now that will be uncomfortable.
You could try appealing directly to your boss and pointing out that what she is doing is unfair and not the most efficient use of your time. However, logic usually never defeats prejudice, so that will most likely not work. Also, and this may be one of your initial concerns, you would be left vulnerable to possible retribution once your boss realizes you’re not on the same page.
If you’re not going to report your boss to her boss or HR, then the next best thing is to do your job of sifting resumes and when you turn them over, make clear that you’ve picked the best applicants from the resumes, which includes any good picks that have a Hispanic-sounding last name. If she doesn’t like it, then both of you can take the issue to human resources together. Chances are, that will be the end of that.
That doesn’t mean that your boss may not be called on the carpet down the line since she will proceed to do her own “screening” or that you won’t be dragged into it. All it means is that you didn’t allow yourself to be a tool in willful discrimination and maybe your boss will be influenced by your example.

Isn't a job posting specifically seeking minority applicants unfair?

2008-08-26T23:38:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: Not to beat a dead horse, but I strongly disagree with your last column. Are you saying that you would not be offended and turned off from applying for a job if it were advertised “we’re particularly seeking white applicants”? — Ticked from Two Weeks Ago
Dear Ticked: Subtlety doesn’t always translate well in print. So, I’ll say it more clearly: Companies that primarily want white employees don’t have to advertise it in their job postings. Minority job applicants can see it when they go to the job interview and fail to see diversity walking up and down the hallways.
If I along with other professional or working-class minorities stopped applying for jobs in businesses where we were the distinct or nonexistent minority, especially in management, then most of us would never have held a job.
Ticked, I would never presume to tell you or anyone else that they should not be offended by companies making an extra push to have minority job candidates. It’s your right to be offended at whatever strikes you as unfair.
But I reiterate that a job posting is nothing more than an advertisement — a recruitment device — to get as many qualified people to apply for a job as possible. Qualified is the key word. And you can’t get qualified diversity without a diverse pool to choose from in the first place.
The big mistake that most people make is assuming that if a company advertises specifically for diversity, it definitely will give the job to a minority. That’s not the case, and I have yet to meet any minority who thinks that color alone is a qualifying criteria.
By encouraging a wider selection process for individual jobs, though, over the course of time, a nondiverse company has a shot at changing. If you think there’s a better, less divisive way, make suggestions to your company or join organizations that address these issues.
I would love to see the day when race is not an issue, when corporate America naturally looks like the crews in the “Star Trek” shows. However, racial diversity in the workplace is still a hot button issue, with no perfect solutions devised yet.
And since, according to the U.S. Census, today’s racial minorities will become the majority by 2042, better solutions will just have to show up because we very well may have the same workplace challenges showing up in different skin tones.
Personally, I’m hoping for ”Star Trek.”

Is it right for a company to encourage racial minorities to apply for a job?

2008-08-11T23:15:00.001-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: The other day while looking at job postings in my field, a top company had a job opening for a midlevel professional, adding that they were encouraging racial minorities to apply. Not only did that offend me, but I feel discouraged from applying because I’m white. — Peeved by Posting
Dear Peeved: I hear you loud and clear.
Basically you’re offended because a company that you really want to work for seems to blatantly be stating that you’re not a desirable candidate because of your race. At least that’s the way you took the posting.
I’m sure that you’re equally offended when you go for a job interview and just about everyone you see is white — with no visible diversity to be found. I mean you are offended by that too, right?
Because while one seeming preference may be openly stated, the other is openly practiced. Whether the lack of diversity within an organization is purposeful, accidental or just due to indifference, in the eyes of the average qualified candidate who doesn’t fit the profile, it can look as blatantly offensive and unsettling as the job posting was to you.
A black man (actually, a biracial man) might be our next president, but CNN has yet to break the news that workplace discrimination and glass ceilings no longer exist.
When companies openly advertise for diversity, by any other name, it still smells like affirmative action. For some, no matter how well they understand the historical and contemporary reasons for extra recruiting, at some level it still feels unfair.
But feelings don’t replace facts.
For example, in the specific posting you mentioned, the company sought midlevel minority candidates, which means they’re narrowing the field of whom they want to apply to not just any old person of color, but for a racial minority with several years of experience in the field. In other words, would you be qualified anyway to apply if the posting said “particularly interested in white candidates”?
Also, when a company goes to that much extra trouble of including wording like that in a job advertisement, it’s most likely because their current work force is so decidedly monochromatic that it has become a problem for clients or customers and members of that work force who care about diversity and inclusion.
For every handful of whites who saw that posting and was resentful that it specifically seemed to target minority applicants, there was a minority candidate suspicious about why the company had to go out of their way to encourage minorities to apply in the first place.

Can I mandate that women employees wear pantyhose?

2008-07-29T20:15:00.001-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: Maybe I’m just an old-fashioned male, even though I’m not old, but I really have a problem with the increasing trend of women not wearing pantyhose with skirts and dresses when they come to work. Would it be sexist of me to mandate that my female subordinates wear pantyhose to work? — Pantyhose in a Twist

Dear Pantyhose: I’m sure that just about every woman reading this column is hoping that I say a resounding “yes” to your question and tell you that you’re sexist. And while you may be a sexist, I’m going to stick to the issue.
The issue is whether a male believes that he has the right to require a woman to encase parts of her body in an uncomfortable material that restricts movement and comfort. Granted, wearing pantyhose can be an effective prophylactic against looking too casual and not sufficiently professional.
But for the average woman who has to wear nylons eight to 10 hours a day, every day, even when the humidity is nearing triple digits, it can seem like an antiquated and rigid expectation that serves no real purpose other than when specific circumstances require that degree of custom.
Deep down, as a boss, you know whether this requirement you have for your female employees is fair or not. For example, if the women are dealing with the public in a formal work environment, then it might be a legitimate expectation to spell out in your company handbook what expectations of attire are.
But if women throughout the organization in other similar departments are walking their bare legs up and down the hallway, maybe you’re the one who has expectations out of sync with your work environment and with changing times.
Also, going back to the sexist question, maybe you do need to ask yourself if you’re being evenhanded in how you expect your male employees to dress compared to the women. I mean if the women have to wear nylons while men frequently come to work without ties or in khakis and polo-type shirts, maybe you do have some double standards that need re-examining.
When it’s all said and done, if you’re a buttoned-up, consistently dapper guy yourself, it could just be that you’re trying to reinstitute decorum and modesty in the workplace, which some would consider admirable.
I still say that you should consider how it would feel to spend just one full workday zipped up in plastic before seriously considering implementing a mandatory pantyhose workplace.

Will my hair be held against me in a job interview?

2008-07-15T20:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: Because I’m a white guy, you may not find this a diversity issue, but it’s an issue to me. Two days after I put blond highlight tips in my hair, I got a call for a job interview. I’m in a fairly conservative industry and am wondering if that will be something held against me? — Highlights Holding Me Down
Dear Highlights: First, let me get out of the way that diversity is not just about minority groups and women. Workplace diversity is about bringing differences to the table and maximizing everyone’s talents.
Diversity, at its best, is about people in the work force getting past appearances to knowing what you can do in the job you’re hired for.
Now you’re probably right that blond, spiky hair will probably not make it to the U.S. Supreme Court as a discrimination issue, but that doesn’t make your issue any less important to you because it’s not a legally protected one.
A few months ago I wrote about the issue of tattoos on job interviews, but this is different, in that, generally speaking, tattoos are permanent and not something you can change the week before a job interview — if you wanted to.
In essence, what you’re worried about is whether an unflattering, mistaken conclusion will be drawn about you based on your appearance. Or it could be that you’re worried that a very accurate conclusion will be drawn about you based on your appearance, but a conclusion that won’t help you get the job.
In either case, the question to ask yourself is whether your hairstyle is a statement of some kind or whether it’s just a hairstyle. If it’s a statement about your individuality or reflects your identity in some key way (for example, you’re a Kansas City surfer boy), then the better question to ask yourself is whether the place where you are interviewing is a good fit for you anyway.
On the other hand, if it’s just a hairstyle, then change it. It’s not an immutable characteristic or a reflection of cultural, religious or sexual orientation, so it’s not like you would be compromising yourself in any fundamental way to have your stylist slap on some hair rinse.
Diversity often is about the large and deep issues that have historical context and emotional relevance, but sometimes it can just be about the misconceptions about people created from small details.
In the case of hair color, this is a detail you can easily control.
Good luck on your interview!

Is Every Personnel Issue a Big Deal?

2008-07-01T19:04:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: No offense, Diva, but I think you dropped the ball on your last column. It sounded like you were saying that the manager should just blow off two employees getting into it about gay marriage. Shouldn’t someone have gotten in trouble? — Critical in Kansas City
Dear Critical: I can understand how my response may have seemed that I was taking too soft a tone to the manager’s dilemma. However, that wasn’t the case. The manager asked about what he should do regarding two employees in his small retail store who had a spat when one of them mentioned that he/she was about to get married under California’s new gay marriage law. The other employee responded in an offensive way.
Basically, my answer was in response to the very specific question the manager asked (who gave me more details than space allowed), which was wanting to know what role he had in improving the relationship that went awry between two employees.
The manager was asking about an isolated incident in which two people were on opposite sides of an emotionally charged issue. And whether people like it or not, an isolated difference of opinion between two employees does not trigger the need for a companywide diversity training session or the firing of an employee.
If one of the employees had written and told me how this was an ongoing issue of hostility and harassment, then reporting the incident to management would have been the first step I recommended, followed by possibly hiring an attorney to seek legal remedies based on the facts.
If the manager himself had told me that this was an ongoing issue, then I would have recommended that he quickly take this to his human resources department and address this immediately.
That wasn’t the case here. The manager who contacted me had the specific concern of wanting his people to go back to liking each other again in the aftermath of one conversation. The law can address behaviors; it can even address motivations that result in work environment and job decisions. But the law and human resources department can’t legislate how people feel about other individuals or other groups.
Laws and policies help keep the workplace fair, but they can’t eradicate bigotry, because one person’s bigoted comment is another person’s right to have an opinion.
Just like the first fight with a spouse doesn’t require a trip to a marriage counselor, every isolated disagreement regarding diversity in the workplace does not require a trip to the human resources department or to the EEOC.
Additionally, 100 different HR professional will have 100 different takes on how to handle a personnel issue. But all those approaches are imperfect considering that the EEOC last year had its biggest increase in discrimination complaints from the preceding year since 1993.
Thanks for holding my feet to the fire, Critical!

Gay-marriage remark causes discord

2008-06-16T21:31:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva:
I manage a small retail store and the other day a disruptive conversation arose when one of my employees mentioned her plans to go to California to marry her lover and my other employee made a disparaging comment about gay marriage. How do I get two employees who have always gotten along back on track?
Signed,
California Dreaming
Dear California Dreaming:
There is a reason why discussing weather is the safest conversation you can have with strangers and co-workers — there are only so many ways cloud cover can turn controversial.
Chances are that what happened in your work situation is that the person who made the negative comment about gay marriage expressed an opinion he had always had but felt empowered to vocalize because his co-worker opened the door to the subject. Also, for all you know, the co-worker who made the original comment was deliberately attempting to start a conversation to “out” a co-worker she suspected would be unsupportive.
You never know what’s really going on beneath the surface when sensitive topics pop up.
Ultimately, sensitive conversations in the workplace are a lot like driving. The person who has the clearest view of the situation is presumed to be the one who could have kept the accident from happening in the first place. That’s why if you don’t want to take the chance of someone saying something offensive, you’ve got to carefully pick your workplace discussions and anticipate the logical places where the conversation may end up.
Your options in making this situation better are limited.
It sounds like what you want to accomplish is having your two employees go back to the place they were with each other before harsh words were spoken. Sorry, but that won’t fly.
Each of them probably will see each other through different eyes now that they have openly addressed their conflicting views. If they are both mature and responsible individuals, they’ll try to keep that out of their working relationship as much as possible and maybe even learn something from the encounter they had.
The best you can do is what it sounds like you’re already doing — staying aware and keeping folks on track as best you can.

How do I speak to a co-worker about racial issues?

2008-06-02T21:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: I’m a white male who works in a predominantly white workplace. I’ve tried to talk to a black co-worker of mine about some of the racial events going on in the news, but she usually changes the subject. I really want to understand some things, but how can I learn if I can’t talk to people who have a different viewpoint than I do? — Seeking to Understand
Dear Seeking: First of all, it’s admirable that you genuinely are seeking to understand different vantage points.
Good intentions aside, however, you wade in choppy waters when you expect or even just want your co-workers to provide your learning curve on sensitive topics. When you’re at work, being the one to initiate an uncomfortable conversation about race makes you vulnerable to being on the receiving end of a complaint.
Although unfortunate that your good intentions could be misconstrued, you’ve got to understand that what may be in some ways just a political conversation to you can be a highly provocative conversation to a person with very different life experiences than you — despite the multitude of ways you’re alike.
Many blacks who have been schooled and have worked in predominantly white environments have exhausting experiences with being viewed as a racial spokesperson when it comes to explaining “what black folks think.” I’m sure that’s a common issue with many other people from various backgrounds.
In the case of the co-worker you’ve attempted to talk to about news events, do you have a genuine friendship with her that would leave room for those sensitive conversations to come up naturally?
Otherwise, think about it this way: If there was a sensitive and personal family issue going on with you, you probably would not feel comfortable discussing it with a co-worker who only appeared to have an innocent yet mildly academic interest in the subject.
The beauty of our society is that information is easy currency. Seeking out black interest magazines and Web sites is a good starting point, as is getting involved in community discussions and organizations that seek to foster racial harmony and understanding.
Like you, I agree that conversation is a great path to understanding, but we have to remember that not everyone wants to get on the bumpy road with us.

Speaking in another language isn't rude

2008-05-12T21:27:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: Where I work there are several groups of people who are originally from other countries, and when they are in the break room or standing off to the side they frequently talk to each other in their own language. Why are people that rude? — English As My Official Language
Dear English: Your question is an increasing concern in our society — not just in the workplace.
The bottom line is: What business is it of yours what people who aren’t talking to you are talking about? Obviously if they are speaking a language you can’t understand, then the issue isn’t about you being offended. Usually, the concern is “But what if they’re talking about me?” So what? Unless they point directly at you and laugh, chances are they aren’t talking about you.
The implication of people finding other languages spoken around them as rude is that those “foreigners” are being deliberately exclusionary. The fact is that when folks go to the side and talk and engage in a conversation and the group seems bonded by being in the same physically distinguishable group, it pops up on the radar quicker. Some people, for example, are quick to take notice when they see several black employees standing to the side talking and laughing, and language isn’t the issue in that case.
If language interfering with actual work is the issue, that’s another concern. But what you’re talking about is how people express their interests, backgrounds and identities in those “in between moments” that help them increase their comfort level in their work environment.
Think about it – if you and some other people are standing by the water cooler talking about who needs to get kicked off “American Idol” or rehashing the latest Chiefs game, are you excluding anyone? No. You’re just not including the uninterested and would probably find it rude if someone tried to insert themselves and change the subject to fit their interests.
Rather than worrying about what other people are saying at break in another language, why don’t you focus on spending your breaks building your own bonds to get you through the day? There is always someone willing to talk about anything or nothing at all until it’s time to get back to work.

How does a newcomer to a job deal with a veteran?

2008-04-28T21:25:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: I’m new to my job and work in a department where there is a distinct divide between the people who are fairly new to the organization and the people who have worked there for years. How do I get along without stepping on any toes? — Newest Egg to the Dozen
Dear Newest: The tensions between newbies to a job and respected elders can definitely be an issue. And being a respected elder has nothing to do with age, although that can be a factor. It has everything to do with who has sat at the workplace table the longest.
Some departments or organizations have frequent turnover or at least a fairly regular infusion of new personnel.
But other workplaces can become very insular from not changing over the years. And for someone new to that environment, it’s often the unofficial roles and positions that workers have settled into that can create tensions. Sometimes it is because certain individuals feel threatened; most of the time it’s just because of unconscious discomfort with change.
At its heart, diversity is about differences coming together in a community of people who have to interact. And at no time are differences going to show up more prominently than when a new person first enters a place where you spend the bulk of your waking hours.
Unlike other diversity issues that are cultural and/or unchanging, eventually you’ll no longer be the new guy or girl. Your way of doing things — from how grumpy you are before your first cup of coffee to what font you use in your memos — will be judged, evaluated and picked over until people just get used to you.
Until that awkward initiation period passes, all you should focus on is learning and doing your job, being pleasant and asking necessary questions of the respected elders to let them know that their institutional insight and knowledge is appreciated and respected.
For those more thorny problems that directly impact the work, you will have to judge whether you want to tactfully and informally seek clarification about work details with your boss or supervisors.

Is there a stigma associated with depression?

2008-04-18T21:22:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva: I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. Even though I’ve brought in documentation, my boss is being difficult about letting me take a leave of absence. What should I do? — Worn Out From Depression
Dear Worn Out: Depression is a huge issue in the workplace affecting millions of Americans. Unlike other areas of diversity that are lifelong issues, depression can strike anyone at any time and can affect every area of your life.
I can’t personally address the issue of your employer approving your leave of absence because of the legal and human resources issues that impact how your employer interprets your policy and documentation.
However, your diagnosed depression is an illness and should be treated like any other health issue, such as heart disease, cancer or a car accident that may physically affect your ability to do your job. However, depression sometimes is perceived as something a person can just “shake off” like a summer cold.
I’m assuming that in addition to your direct supervisor, you are talking with the HR department about what kind of leave you need and for how long.
Employee productivity is no small issue for an employer, and while it may seem as if it’s just a matter of organizations being mean, insensitive overlords who don’t really care about their employees, in some cases it’s a matter of them trying to distinguish between the employees who really need time off and the ones just trying to get away
You should research what kinds of leave are available to you and be willing to ask yourself some hard questions. Are you willing to take an unpaid leave of absence if your employer approves that? Also, is your depression tied to your job or profession, thus requiring you to decide if you need to make a bigger life change in addition to addressing your depression?
Here’s a good resource on depression that will be useful to both you and your employer: www.depressioncalculator.com/InfoResources.asp#General.
Good luck on getting the help and support you need.

Think before you hit the 'forward' button

2008-03-24T21:19:00.000-05:00

Dear Diversity Diva,
I work for a large business and occasionally get e-mails that are of a patriotic and religious nature from friends within the company and outside the company that I like to forward to my friends at work. It’s never been a problem but lately I’ve wondered.
Signed,
Fan of Forwarding Favorite E-mails
Dear Fan,
Two of the most dangerous jobs in an office setting can be hitting the “send” button and using the “forward” function for e-mails.
On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with passing on patriotism or good spiritual cheer to fellow compatriots in the workplace. And if diversity is about understanding and navigating differences, sending e-mails to like-minded people would not seem to be a problem.
But work e-mail is company property — which means you have no privacy rights regarding the e-mail address your employer gives you to use. Therefore, what would be innocent when sent from your private e-mail at home to someone else’s private e-mail becomes something else, particularly if the topic has any possibility of offending.
Although you say you just send your e-mails to friends at work, we all know forwarding e-mails to others is common and you have no control over whether one of your coworkers forwards it to someone who is offended. Or someone may print a copy of your e-mail but then forget to pick it up at the printer and so what didn’t offend the original recipient ends up rubbing someone else wrong who sees the e-mail lying around.
Almost all companies these days have strict policies on the sending or forwarding of personal e-mails. And while many are inconsistent about enforcing those policies, they exist so that they can be enforced when necessary or desired. For example, I know of an instance where a man was fired because he forwarded to his own personal e-mail account the naughty e-mail photos that a friend had sent to him at work.
To reduce the chance of potential misunderstandings and outright violations, start steering your friends toward e-mailing you these items to a home e-mail account. At the very least, keep the forwarding of personal e-mails at work to an absolute minimum.

Handling the transgender issue

2008-03-10T21:17:00.000-05:00

How might a progressive employer handle a transgender employee who, for example, goes from female to male, or male to female? How does one address those in transition? — Concerned About Change That Makes Sense
Dear Concerned: Which bathroom is the new man or new woman going to use? That’s going to be the No. 1 challenge for an employer. Or at least the one that other employees will bring to an employer’s attention.
On the surface, it may not appear that employees having sex change operations — or sex reassignment surgery — would pose a wide diversity issue. But it happens enough for there to be a number of groups and literature to assist with the decision, a growing body of law that prevents discrimination surrounding the decision, and an increasing number of companies addressing the issue as part of company policy.
And, as with many diversity issues, there is no way to anticipate whether it will impact a particular workplace with subtle sensitivity or like a barreling Mack truck.
Generally, an employer has ethical and legal reasons why it can’t publicly discuss the medical issues of its employees. However, in the case of an employee who goes through gender modification, the issue becomes dicey. Ideally, the person who goes through the gender modification will take the lead deciding when and how co-workers are alerted to this life-changing event. That employee needs to explain the change in name, the correct pronoun references to use, the physical change in appearance and, most important of all, that there will be a shift from using the little boys’ room to the little girls’ room or vice versa.
While some advocates of transgender issues say that concerns about use of the bathroom are exaggerated, employers and human resources people that I’ve talked to disagree. It can end up being an extremely uncomfortable issue because it’s rare and unusual ground and because its implications touch on people’s core concerns about privacy.
If you’re used to working side by side with Ned for years and then suddenly have to get used to seeing him in the bathroom as Nancy, that’s going to be disconcerting for many people.
Although dealing with people in the workplace having sex change operations can be confusing, awkward and even offensive to some, the employer’s primary responsibility will always be to seek information to make the transformation minimally intrusive for everyone and stay within the bounds of the law. A good place to start is www.gendersanity.com/resources.shtml.

When HR won't halt racism, seek outside help

2008-02-25T21:13:00.000-06:00

Dear Diversity Diva: I work for a medium-size organization where I am one of a handful of minority women. My team leader has openly made racist comments, which we reported to our human resources department. Upon investigation, our boss admitted that he made the comments, but HR came to us and pressured us into letting the situation go. What do we do now that we’ve complained and not only have our complaints been ignored but our boss still continues to offend? — Ignored by Management
Dear Ignored: First, let me just say I’m sorry for the stress you and your co-workers have endured. It sounds as if your working environment has become close to intolerable.
When bosses make public and derogatory statements about a racial group and then compound this by being deliberately callous to the harm created by those remarks, the situation moves rapidly beyond just a diversity issue.
You did the right thing in going to HR to make a complaint and seek a resolution. And I hope you and your co-workers have kept good notes both on the offenses you’ve complained about as well as your talks with HR.
Some HR departments are a lot better than others, and it’s too bad that you have to deal with one that essentially told you to stop taking things so seriously.
When a problem or issue is strictly a diversity issue — understanding and dealing with the differences of people in the workplace — solutions can often be individual, creative and informal.
But when the allegations involve creation of a hostile working environment based on race — something prohibited by law — your solutions are few. You’ve already done the first and major one by going to HR. Now you need to seek out the advice of an attorney who will examine the facts and either take on your case or give you guidance on how you can follow up yourself with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission to file a complaint.
Because of time requirements, you should seek outside help sooner rather than later.

To Complain or Not to Complain

2008-01-28T21:07:00.000-06:00

Posted on Mon, Jan. 28, 2008 10:15 PM

Dear Diversity Diva: Recent events in the local news have made me wonder what is the best way of handling it when someone you work with calls you by a name or uses words around you that you find offensive. Should you always make a complaint? — Confused About Complaining
Dear Confused: The simple answer is, sure, if you feel like someone’s offended you, go complain. After all, that’s what the human resources department and employment laws are for.
But the simple route isn’t always best.
Deciding whether to confront, complain or suffer in silence depends on the facts. If you “put someone on blast” by filing a complaint, eventually everyone you work with will know about it. (And trust me, regardless of what anyone tells you, filing an “anonymous” complaint can put just as much scrutiny on you as it does the person you’ve brought the complaint against.) Every workplace circumstance differs.
Still, if the person making the offensive comment is your boss, and that person is clearly and overtly making stupidly offensive comments to you, the most appropriate thing probably would be to trot down to HR and tell them about it. But if the person is a peer, or at the very least not a supervisor, then first try a direct approach with the individual.
You also should try directness when the issue that burns you is an isolated event. I’m not in the perception-is-reality camp — perception is often complex and highly personal. In an isolated instance, what could be a deliberate or reckless offense from one person’s standpoint could just be something misunderstood, taken out of context or just plain heard wrong.
An obvious offense to you may not be so to the “offender,” and a two-way, open conversation may clear that up.
Be warned, however: Being direct can be viewed as confrontational or worse, depending on whom you’re dealing with.
Some people, even when informed they have offended, will continue to argue their right to do so, saying: “That’s just being oversensitive. Besides, that’s a stupid thing to be offended by anyway.” For people like that, a formal complaint may be the best and only way to stop an ongoing issue.

Tackling the toughest of workplace issues

2008-01-15T20:59:00.000-06:00

Posted on Tue, Jan. 15, 2008 10:13 AM

Diversity can be a dreaded word in the workplace.
People just don’t like the concept. They don’t like having to think about it, having to talk about it, having to consider it. Most people just plain resent that it’s an issue at all.
A frequent criticism is “if people just focused on their work, everything would be just fine.” That’s true. It would be.
But it’s never just about work. It’s about how people get along doing the work.
And that’s where this new online column fits in.
As a former employment attorney who has worked for firms representing major companies in the Kansas City area, as a diversity consultant and author who has traveled the country talking to various groups about diversity issues, and just as a KCK girl with a big mouth who has worked since the age of 14, I offer various perspectives.
I’m pretty direct and not always politically correct. So let me say off the bat that while I’m black and female, this column is not just about those demographics. It shapes how I think and approach things, yes, but it no more confines my perspective than the fact that I’ve worked as an attorney representing “da Man” in discrimination lawsuits.
I hope you — the reader, the people out there working in Kansas City and beyond — will ask the questions you don’t want to ask at work but that you really need to talk about to do your work.
As with other advice columns, people asking questions will have anonymity. I don’t even need to know exactly where you work. You can ask the questions you don’t want to ask out loud at work about how to handle issues involving race, gender, disability, age, pregnancy, sexual orientation, marital status, religion. You can ask about relationships, friendships, perceived harassments, observed biases.
My agenda lies in helping to promote a workplace that works — a place where different kinds of people can positively, proactively and practically figure out how to create a workplace where people can just focus on their jobs.
So help me get started. Send a question or two via e-mail to DearDiversityDiva@yahoo.com. And look for answers to appear online throughout the month.
No matter how obvious or even insensitive a question is, somebody else is going to have it, and I hope my answers will help shed light. Or at the very least spark some thought and conversation.