Speaking in another language isn't rude

Dear Diversity Diva: Where I work there are several groups of people who are originally from other countries, and when they are in the break room or standing off to the side they frequently talk to each other in their own language. Why are people that rude? — English As My Official Language
Dear English: Your question is an increasing concern in our society — not just in the workplace.
The bottom line is: What business is it of yours what people who aren’t talking to you are talking about? Obviously if they are speaking a language you can’t understand, then the issue isn’t about you being offended. Usually, the concern is “But what if they’re talking about me?” So what? Unless they point directly at you and laugh, chances are they aren’t talking about you.
The implication of people finding other languages spoken around them as rude is that those “foreigners” are being deliberately exclusionary. The fact is that when folks go to the side and talk and engage in a conversation and the group seems bonded by being in the same physically distinguishable group, it pops up on the radar quicker. Some people, for example, are quick to take notice when they see several black employees standing to the side talking and laughing, and language isn’t the issue in that case.
If language interfering with actual work is the issue, that’s another concern. But what you’re talking about is how people express their interests, backgrounds and identities in those “in between moments” that help them increase their comfort level in their work environment.
Think about it – if you and some other people are standing by the water cooler talking about who needs to get kicked off “American Idol” or rehashing the latest Chiefs game, are you excluding anyone? No. You’re just not including the uninterested and would probably find it rude if someone tried to insert themselves and change the subject to fit their interests.
Rather than worrying about what other people are saying at break in another language, why don’t you focus on spending your breaks building your own bonds to get you through the day? There is always someone willing to talk about anything or nothing at all until it’s time to get back to work.

How does a newcomer to a job deal with a veteran?

Dear Diversity Diva: I’m new to my job and work in a department where there is a distinct divide between the people who are fairly new to the organization and the people who have worked there for years. How do I get along without stepping on any toes? — Newest Egg to the Dozen
Dear Newest: The tensions between newbies to a job and respected elders can definitely be an issue. And being a respected elder has nothing to do with age, although that can be a factor. It has everything to do with who has sat at the workplace table the longest.
Some departments or organizations have frequent turnover or at least a fairly regular infusion of new personnel.
But other workplaces can become very insular from not changing over the years. And for someone new to that environment, it’s often the unofficial roles and positions that workers have settled into that can create tensions. Sometimes it is because certain individuals feel threatened; most of the time it’s just because of unconscious discomfort with change.
At its heart, diversity is about differences coming together in a community of people who have to interact. And at no time are differences going to show up more prominently than when a new person first enters a place where you spend the bulk of your waking hours.
Unlike other diversity issues that are cultural and/or unchanging, eventually you’ll no longer be the new guy or girl. Your way of doing things — from how grumpy you are before your first cup of coffee to what font you use in your memos — will be judged, evaluated and picked over until people just get used to you.
Until that awkward initiation period passes, all you should focus on is learning and doing your job, being pleasant and asking necessary questions of the respected elders to let them know that their institutional insight and knowledge is appreciated and respected.
For those more thorny problems that directly impact the work, you will have to judge whether you want to tactfully and informally seek clarification about work details with your boss or supervisors.

Is there a stigma associated with depression?

Dear Diversity Diva: I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. Even though I’ve brought in documentation, my boss is being difficult about letting me take a leave of absence. What should I do? — Worn Out From Depression
Dear Worn Out: Depression is a huge issue in the workplace affecting millions of Americans. Unlike other areas of diversity that are lifelong issues, depression can strike anyone at any time and can affect every area of your life.
I can’t personally address the issue of your employer approving your leave of absence because of the legal and human resources issues that impact how your employer interprets your policy and documentation.
However, your diagnosed depression is an illness and should be treated like any other health issue, such as heart disease, cancer or a car accident that may physically affect your ability to do your job. However, depression sometimes is perceived as something a person can just “shake off” like a summer cold.
I’m assuming that in addition to your direct supervisor, you are talking with the HR department about what kind of leave you need and for how long.
Employee productivity is no small issue for an employer, and while it may seem as if it’s just a matter of organizations being mean, insensitive overlords who don’t really care about their employees, in some cases it’s a matter of them trying to distinguish between the employees who really need time off and the ones just trying to get away
You should research what kinds of leave are available to you and be willing to ask yourself some hard questions. Are you willing to take an unpaid leave of absence if your employer approves that? Also, is your depression tied to your job or profession, thus requiring you to decide if you need to make a bigger life change in addition to addressing your depression?
Here’s a good resource on depression that will be useful to both you and your employer: www.depressioncalculator.com/InfoResources.asp#General.
Good luck on getting the help and support you need.

Think before you hit the 'forward' button

Dear Diversity Diva,
I work for a large business and occasionally get e-mails that are of a patriotic and religious nature from friends within the company and outside the company that I like to forward to my friends at work. It’s never been a problem but lately I’ve wondered.
Signed,
Fan of Forwarding Favorite E-mails
Dear Fan,
Two of the most dangerous jobs in an office setting can be hitting the “send” button and using the “forward” function for e-mails.
On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with passing on patriotism or good spiritual cheer to fellow compatriots in the workplace. And if diversity is about understanding and navigating differences, sending e-mails to like-minded people would not seem to be a problem.
But work e-mail is company property — which means you have no privacy rights regarding the e-mail address your employer gives you to use. Therefore, what would be innocent when sent from your private e-mail at home to someone else’s private e-mail becomes something else, particularly if the topic has any possibility of offending.
Although you say you just send your e-mails to friends at work, we all know forwarding e-mails to others is common and you have no control over whether one of your coworkers forwards it to someone who is offended. Or someone may print a copy of your e-mail but then forget to pick it up at the printer and so what didn’t offend the original recipient ends up rubbing someone else wrong who sees the e-mail lying around.
Almost all companies these days have strict policies on the sending or forwarding of personal e-mails. And while many are inconsistent about enforcing those policies, they exist so that they can be enforced when necessary or desired. For example, I know of an instance where a man was fired because he forwarded to his own personal e-mail account the naughty e-mail photos that a friend had sent to him at work.
To reduce the chance of potential misunderstandings and outright violations, start steering your friends toward e-mailing you these items to a home e-mail account. At the very least, keep the forwarding of personal e-mails at work to an absolute minimum.

Handling the transgender issue

How might a progressive employer handle a transgender employee who, for example, goes from female to male, or male to female? How does one address those in transition? — Concerned About Change That Makes Sense
Dear Concerned: Which bathroom is the new man or new woman going to use? That’s going to be the No. 1 challenge for an employer. Or at least the one that other employees will bring to an employer’s attention.
On the surface, it may not appear that employees having sex change operations — or sex reassignment surgery — would pose a wide diversity issue. But it happens enough for there to be a number of groups and literature to assist with the decision, a growing body of law that prevents discrimination surrounding the decision, and an increasing number of companies addressing the issue as part of company policy.
And, as with many diversity issues, there is no way to anticipate whether it will impact a particular workplace with subtle sensitivity or like a barreling Mack truck.
Generally, an employer has ethical and legal reasons why it can’t publicly discuss the medical issues of its employees. However, in the case of an employee who goes through gender modification, the issue becomes dicey. Ideally, the person who goes through the gender modification will take the lead deciding when and how co-workers are alerted to this life-changing event. That employee needs to explain the change in name, the correct pronoun references to use, the physical change in appearance and, most important of all, that there will be a shift from using the little boys’ room to the little girls’ room or vice versa.
While some advocates of transgender issues say that concerns about use of the bathroom are exaggerated, employers and human resources people that I’ve talked to disagree. It can end up being an extremely uncomfortable issue because it’s rare and unusual ground and because its implications touch on people’s core concerns about privacy.
If you’re used to working side by side with Ned for years and then suddenly have to get used to seeing him in the bathroom as Nancy, that’s going to be disconcerting for many people.
Although dealing with people in the workplace having sex change operations can be confusing, awkward and even offensive to some, the employer’s primary responsibility will always be to seek information to make the transformation minimally intrusive for everyone and stay within the bounds of the law. A good place to start is www.gendersanity.com/resources.shtml.