Dear Diversity Diva: My boss is a racist. What should I do?
Dear Diversity Diva: I’m a black woman working for a business that is about to fire me because I don’t get along with my boss, a white woman who I know is racist. I haven’t bothered going to HR because I know they won’t do anything. What do you think I should do? — Rock in a Hard Place
Dear Rock: You’ve got more issues going on than you realize, and it sounds like it’s all about to come to a head.
To begin, how do you know you are about to be fired? For example, if you have been put on probation or given some form of disciplinary warning, your perception that your job is in jeopardy might be quite accurate. However, if you’re just assuming because of the boss tensions, then you may not be at the danger point — just quickly getting there.
Regardless of whether you are guessing or getting direct feedback about the imminent mortality of your job, it is a mistake to keep human resources out of it. From a practical standpoint, you should go to them because you may be getting a lot of things wrong. Maybe your boss is racist. Maybe she’s not. Maybe she’s discriminating against you. Maybe she’s not.
Maybe your job is completely secure but your perceptions and fears are leading you to sit on the railroad tracks ready to be hit by the train. If that’s the case, someone in HR might be able to objectively hear you out and help you fix the situation.
Additionally, from a legal standpoint, if you do get fired and decided to sue on the basis of discrimination, your employer will be able to use the defense that you never complained or gave them the opportunity to resolve discriminatory behavior that may have taken place.
Regardless of what you decide to do, your key objective should be to stop being miserable in a job that is no longer serving you. In these difficult economic times, take the opportunity while you still have a job to find another.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Why can't I call an older co-worker "Grandpa"?
Dear Diversity Diva: In the restaurant where I work, we young people call this older guy we work with “Grandpa.” We don’t mean any harm, but our boss says we need to stop calling him that. If Grandpa doesn’t mind, why do we have to stop? — Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number
Dear Age: I’m sure you and your co-workers mean no disrespect when you call your older comrade Grandpa. It sounds like it may even be a title of affection and admiration.
However, your boss has more to consider than just whether you like calling a co-worker something other than his name or even whether Grandpa minds the nickname.
For one, I get the impression that you’re assuming Grandpa doesn’t mind being called by that name. You may be right. However, I don’t know if your older co-worker is 35 or 75. Because employees over the age of 40 are legally considered to be in a protected class— meaning that they can sue on the basis of age discrimination — your supervisor may be concerned that Grandpa might claim age discrimination someday and cite your playful nickname as part of the complaint.
Also, remember that your boss has to take into account that other older co-workers and customers who overhear in the restaurant may take offense.
Another possibility you may not have considered is that Grandpa really doesn’t like that nickname and he is the one who went to the boss and complained about it. Many times, even the friendliest co-worker feels more comfortable going to the boss on the sly rather than taking complaints directly to the source for fear of confrontation or creating tension. Even the most direct person has been known to take that approach to keep calm waters and to make the boss the heavy.
A lot of times, conflict in the workplace comes from the impressions created by workers who mean no harm. In a case like this, therefore, the best thing to do is just follow your boss’s guidance. Call Grandpa by his given name.
Dear Age: I’m sure you and your co-workers mean no disrespect when you call your older comrade Grandpa. It sounds like it may even be a title of affection and admiration.
However, your boss has more to consider than just whether you like calling a co-worker something other than his name or even whether Grandpa minds the nickname.
For one, I get the impression that you’re assuming Grandpa doesn’t mind being called by that name. You may be right. However, I don’t know if your older co-worker is 35 or 75. Because employees over the age of 40 are legally considered to be in a protected class— meaning that they can sue on the basis of age discrimination — your supervisor may be concerned that Grandpa might claim age discrimination someday and cite your playful nickname as part of the complaint.
Also, remember that your boss has to take into account that other older co-workers and customers who overhear in the restaurant may take offense.
Another possibility you may not have considered is that Grandpa really doesn’t like that nickname and he is the one who went to the boss and complained about it. Many times, even the friendliest co-worker feels more comfortable going to the boss on the sly rather than taking complaints directly to the source for fear of confrontation or creating tension. Even the most direct person has been known to take that approach to keep calm waters and to make the boss the heavy.
A lot of times, conflict in the workplace comes from the impressions created by workers who mean no harm. In a case like this, therefore, the best thing to do is just follow your boss’s guidance. Call Grandpa by his given name.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Do I have to keep going to diversity seminars?
Dear Diversity Diva: Why do I have to keep going to diversity seminars at work? We have them every year and I want to know what’s up with that. Isn’t it my bosses that need to be hearing this stuff anyway? — Sick of Seminars
Dear Sick: You have to keep going to diversity seminars for the same reasons you still need to get an annual physical from a doctor even though you had one back when they put Winnie the Pooh Band-Aids on your boo-boos.
Diversity seminars and workshops often trigger eye-rolling and sighs of exasperation because people think they get along just fine with their co-workers and don’t need any extra help.
No doubt, some seminars are better than others. Some can be informative, fun and lively. Others can be simplistic, preachy or just downright boring.
But even the worst diversity session that your employer sends you to has some information or some insight into your co-workers that you need to know about.
If, for example, you see even one co-worker mouthing off about her sexist bosses, or you see your minority or disabled or older co-workers visibly upset when the issue of bias or discrimination comes up, then you are looking at the reason why you’re there.
And the fact that you didn’t cause or aren’t responsible for someone else’s issue doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you, your department or your company.
Employees who have to check some part of their identify at the workplace door probably think there are not enough good diversity workshops taking place.
A lot of distaste that many have for these training sessions stems from the defensiveness these sessions trigger among the people who assume that on some level they or the group they are a member of will be targeted as “the bad guy.”
But if you start being one of those employees who truly aims to learn just one thing every session, you’ll find that going to them seems less tedious. And you may even find it has some positive impact on your work environment.
Dear Sick: You have to keep going to diversity seminars for the same reasons you still need to get an annual physical from a doctor even though you had one back when they put Winnie the Pooh Band-Aids on your boo-boos.
Diversity seminars and workshops often trigger eye-rolling and sighs of exasperation because people think they get along just fine with their co-workers and don’t need any extra help.
No doubt, some seminars are better than others. Some can be informative, fun and lively. Others can be simplistic, preachy or just downright boring.
But even the worst diversity session that your employer sends you to has some information or some insight into your co-workers that you need to know about.
If, for example, you see even one co-worker mouthing off about her sexist bosses, or you see your minority or disabled or older co-workers visibly upset when the issue of bias or discrimination comes up, then you are looking at the reason why you’re there.
And the fact that you didn’t cause or aren’t responsible for someone else’s issue doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you, your department or your company.
Employees who have to check some part of their identify at the workplace door probably think there are not enough good diversity workshops taking place.
A lot of distaste that many have for these training sessions stems from the defensiveness these sessions trigger among the people who assume that on some level they or the group they are a member of will be targeted as “the bad guy.”
But if you start being one of those employees who truly aims to learn just one thing every session, you’ll find that going to them seems less tedious. And you may even find it has some positive impact on your work environment.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Should an office gift of condolence be a political donation?
Dear Diversity Diva: I work in a small department of a large, private business. A member of our team had a death in his family and the team collected money for flowers, only to find out that the wishes of our co-worker’s loved one was to donate money to one of the presidential campaigns. Our office is divided politically, so I don’t feel comfortable with that. What do you think? — Perplexed by Politics
Dear Perplexed: I understand why you would be uncomfortable. You’re trying to support a co-worker in his time of loss, honor someone’s last wishes and avoid offending co-workers.
Even though you didn’t make that last point in your question, ultimately that’s what your real concern is. If the loved one’s request was a donation to Save the Whales or the American Cancer Society, you probably wouldn’t think twice.
But donating money to a political campaign — especially in a tightly contested, extremely polarized presidential campaign — will almost definitely rub someone in the opposing camp the wrong way.
In working for many government municipalities and some private-sector jobs, collecting for a political campaign, even indirectly, would be strictly forbidden.
In a situation where a small group of personal friends at work want to donate money in this fashion in their off-work time, it’s a different issue because it ceases to be a “workplace” donation. But when the situation really is a work department coming together in this way, it’s not fair to put anyone in the position of later finding out that their generosity was used in a way they didn’t intend.
Probably the best way to address this is to convert the money raised into a money order or cashier’s check in your co-worker’s name and give it to him in a condolence card, leaving him to use his judgment in how the money will be used to honor his loved one.
That way, the people in the department have achieved their real objective of supporting their co-worker, the co-worker is touched by the gesture, and political diversity is respected with no one having to feel offended by having their money directly go to a candidate that they had no intention of supporting.
Dear Perplexed: I understand why you would be uncomfortable. You’re trying to support a co-worker in his time of loss, honor someone’s last wishes and avoid offending co-workers.
Even though you didn’t make that last point in your question, ultimately that’s what your real concern is. If the loved one’s request was a donation to Save the Whales or the American Cancer Society, you probably wouldn’t think twice.
But donating money to a political campaign — especially in a tightly contested, extremely polarized presidential campaign — will almost definitely rub someone in the opposing camp the wrong way.
In working for many government municipalities and some private-sector jobs, collecting for a political campaign, even indirectly, would be strictly forbidden.
In a situation where a small group of personal friends at work want to donate money in this fashion in their off-work time, it’s a different issue because it ceases to be a “workplace” donation. But when the situation really is a work department coming together in this way, it’s not fair to put anyone in the position of later finding out that their generosity was used in a way they didn’t intend.
Probably the best way to address this is to convert the money raised into a money order or cashier’s check in your co-worker’s name and give it to him in a condolence card, leaving him to use his judgment in how the money will be used to honor his loved one.
That way, the people in the department have achieved their real objective of supporting their co-worker, the co-worker is touched by the gesture, and political diversity is respected with no one having to feel offended by having their money directly go to a candidate that they had no intention of supporting.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Take boss' resume screenings to human resources department
Dear Diversity Diva:
I am a midlevel supervisor who helps select resumes for my boss to interview applicants for upcoming openings. My boss has made very clear that she wants me to weed out applicants with Hispanic-sounding last names. I don’t like doing this but I also don’t want to upset my boss. What should I do?
Signed, Caught in the Middle
Dear Caught:
The obvious and easy answer is to go to the human resources department. That’s the right thing to do.
But there’s probably a couple of other things at play that make the answer less than direct. One is that you like the boss and don’t want to see her get into trouble. You want some free pass that allows you to do the right thing by the applicants while simultaneously protecting your boss and avoiding awkwardness.
Sorry, but that isn’t going to happen. You can continue doing what your boss wants, and no one may ever be the wiser. Or you can continue doing what your boss wants and then you may find yourself sitting across from a lawyer in a deposition for a case brought by a Hispanic applicant who brings a lawsuit. Now that will be uncomfortable.
You could try appealing directly to your boss and pointing out that what she is doing is unfair and not the most efficient use of your time. However, logic usually never defeats prejudice, so that will most likely not work. Also, and this may be one of your initial concerns, you would be left vulnerable to possible retribution once your boss realizes you’re not on the same page.
If you’re not going to report your boss to her boss or HR, then the next best thing is to do your job of sifting resumes and when you turn them over, make clear that you’ve picked the best applicants from the resumes, which includes any good picks that have a Hispanic-sounding last name. If she doesn’t like it, then both of you can take the issue to human resources together. Chances are, that will be the end of that.
That doesn’t mean that your boss may not be called on the carpet down the line since she will proceed to do her own “screening” or that you won’t be dragged into it. All it means is that you didn’t allow yourself to be a tool in willful discrimination and maybe your boss will be influenced by your example.
I am a midlevel supervisor who helps select resumes for my boss to interview applicants for upcoming openings. My boss has made very clear that she wants me to weed out applicants with Hispanic-sounding last names. I don’t like doing this but I also don’t want to upset my boss. What should I do?
Signed, Caught in the Middle
Dear Caught:
The obvious and easy answer is to go to the human resources department. That’s the right thing to do.
But there’s probably a couple of other things at play that make the answer less than direct. One is that you like the boss and don’t want to see her get into trouble. You want some free pass that allows you to do the right thing by the applicants while simultaneously protecting your boss and avoiding awkwardness.
Sorry, but that isn’t going to happen. You can continue doing what your boss wants, and no one may ever be the wiser. Or you can continue doing what your boss wants and then you may find yourself sitting across from a lawyer in a deposition for a case brought by a Hispanic applicant who brings a lawsuit. Now that will be uncomfortable.
You could try appealing directly to your boss and pointing out that what she is doing is unfair and not the most efficient use of your time. However, logic usually never defeats prejudice, so that will most likely not work. Also, and this may be one of your initial concerns, you would be left vulnerable to possible retribution once your boss realizes you’re not on the same page.
If you’re not going to report your boss to her boss or HR, then the next best thing is to do your job of sifting resumes and when you turn them over, make clear that you’ve picked the best applicants from the resumes, which includes any good picks that have a Hispanic-sounding last name. If she doesn’t like it, then both of you can take the issue to human resources together. Chances are, that will be the end of that.
That doesn’t mean that your boss may not be called on the carpet down the line since she will proceed to do her own “screening” or that you won’t be dragged into it. All it means is that you didn’t allow yourself to be a tool in willful discrimination and maybe your boss will be influenced by your example.
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